Insomniac Brain Attack
Life is not for sale. Experience is free. Freedom: a liberated choice with a crimson fee, Spurred by passion and fury to take what rare leaves lying for the few. Drifting focus, vision lands on what I’ve yet to feel, the road I should have gone, in the valley where shadows shelter. This is refuge to shift life to the new. I like the feeling of being sheltered by something beyond, this half-life.
Each dawn brings new chances for joy, new dreams to seize, fortunes to explore.
Changes make haste, old minds erase. Transition slams into a life like waves. I trade what I know to taste what I crave. Dragons swoon to alter my chosen course to nullify my life with reasons to linger. Screaming idol gods, sell shallow beliefs, altered pictures of a false me. See me on my knees begging for release. Tears streak and stain, streaming rivers to the velvet dirt, recalling who I was before. Casting borrowed robes to the cutting floor. Lost in myself is ok when I reach out for more.
What absurdity is a life that’s held together by events that history can’t even erase, stitched by things that tarnish when only one un-tradable, unquenchable fire, only one existence can be dearer and run deeper… I sell all I used to love and trade arms for peace hoping solidarity can hold me closer once the rubbish hits the curb. I cling more to a mirage than the shallow committal to fellow puppets striving for sameness.
All my life comes to this silent force where sweet allure taunts. All I ran to has faded. All I knew shelled and felled & sloughed the rough trappings of a roll by a poor player fretting the unrehearsed. I dream up a life I’ll never grasp if I only dream of it. I follow what hero’s bleed for.
Shall I conspire to be different but lay it down for less than everything?
As if I would trade what makes my blood red.
As if I’d die for a cause that isn’t mine to keep. I hung upon this thought for so long, to stay in comfort or seize the road beyond.
A deepened change kneels my life before The Promise. Now the deepened hues pale in the light of a sudden recall of a reality untouched. Screeching visions laced with verve un-breathed. Passions lay down the steps. I finally feel, see and do and yes at this moment I come apart but it’s all to play the part. Watch walls crumble down. Capture what life I’ve spent for all that requires a sacrifice. Taste the different flavors. Live elevated above where life crashes. Embrace choices taken to the edge. Worlds collide. Borders become ashes at your feet. Jagged existence morphs into serene. This tangle mangles…so reach jump, extend and coast. Learn to fly with the unseen. Let reality guard the door and rationale begone. Let what I reach for live beyond. No distractions no looking back.
Lend the Gods above as I come apart for this.
Right here with me stay and let’s dance through this.
It’s just this. Then the stillness is bliss. Stand & walk away. Never forget this. The day I fell head on into the life He promised.
Trust is a a relationship of reliance. Our relationship with Christof is powerful and grows with trust. Your description is elegant and poetic and invites one to dive deeper into that trust.
Keep writing.